(Found this in my last computer and yes it is a few years
old. I am happy to inform everyone that I have successfully been
in recovery for some time and no longer carry on these amusing behaviors.)
Now this is not a seedy lurid tell all, but a modest attempt to
share some insight into the life of a housewife. Oh, not any ordinary
housewife I must admit, but one of a dangerous chocoholic. No, I am not
out of the closet yet, but at the reading of this blog I imagine I am exposed!
Now what exactly is a chocoholic? Hmmm, let’s see. It
is one who goes food shopping but hides the expensive chocolate bars in her
pocket book so no one else sees them! It is one who takes an extra long
bath with the door locked so she can eat her goodies in secret without
interruption. Ah, even writing about it stirs up the craving that only a
female could relate to! My husband tries to understand but he just
can’t. He buys a chocolate bar and eats one square, wraps the bar neatly
and puts it away until another day! What? That is insane! I
can’t fathom eating one square and neatly tucking it away. Ah, I take my
time savoring every bite, but be reassured there is no evidence left when
done.
Let’s see, for instance the other night my husband went to the
store and I opened up an ice cream sandwich. I understand it was 9:30 p.m. but
it was organic ice cream with no added chemicals, dyes or junk. Do you
hear that justification? That is a sure sign of a chocoholic. Well,
much to my surprise he came home early and I knew he would give me a hard time
for eating that chocolate ice cream bar, SO I ran upstairs and hid it in my
bedroom. Yes, I did. Then I “took my bath,” and as the water was running
I intently ate that bar. It was in that moment I knew a blog was in the making titled “Confessions of a Housewife.” How else could I warn husbands that there is an epidemic of housewives turning to chocolate at an
accelerated pace? Now, keep in mind my motto is “only if it is good
chocolate." That is a safeguard for me because I can pass by
everyday average chocolate without a second thought, BUT oh my if it is
good chocolate I will remortgage my home. I have told many a person that I
will wrestle them for chocolate and I meant it!
No doubt many women will go into panic as I expose our hidden
secret, but realize I am doing it for our best interest. A friend who is fully aware of my chocolate addiction gave
me a magnet that read . . .“I would give up chocolate, but I am not a
quitter!” So there you have it and I assume Chocoholics Anonymous or the gym will be packed this week.
Eat chocolate and carry on.....
***Note to trainer; this is an old blog and I am no longer
eating chocolate alone in the closet :)